Amazing · Grace · and · Other · Urban · Legends

John convinced me to do the Myspace thing, and now I'm addicted. You guys can find me there under artful_wench.

I just can't bring myself to write about anything substantial. I found this survey on Myspace, so here's something to occupy you guys:

Name:
~~I go by many names.

Birthday:
~~ July 12, 1984

Birthplace:
~~ Winchester, TN

Current Location:
~~ Tennessee

Eye Color:
~~Green, blue, or grey depending.

Hair Color:
~~ Blonde

Height:
~~ 5'8ish

Right Handed or Left Handed:
~~ I write with my right and do more important things with my left.

Your Heritage:
~~ I’m an American mutt.

The Shoes You Wore Today:
~~ Dumb Plum flip-flops

Your Weakness:
~~ Self-control

Your Fears:
~~ I’m severely claustrophobic

Your Perfect Pizza:
~~ Extra sauce, feta cheese, tomatoes, green and black olives, mushrooms, green peppers.

Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:
~~ Get that stupid book published.

Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:
~~ Wtf, man?!

Thoughts First Waking Up:
~~ Where am I? I have to pee.

Your Best Physical Feature:
~~ I have pretty hands and feet.

Your Bedtime:
~~ When I pass out, after I orgasm, or whenever I crawl to bed, defeated.

Most Missed Memory:
~~Looking over at Charles in the driver’s seat

Pepsi or Coke:
~~ Pepsi has all those neat jazz drinks.

MacDonalds or Burger King:
~~ Burger King. Veggie Burger with cheese. Slap some ketchup on that bitch. That's what I'm talking about.

Single or Group Dates:
~~ Depends on whether my partner is creepy or hot.

Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:
~~ Sonic sweet tea with extra lemon.

Chocolate or Vanilla:
~~ I’m a girl. Chocolate.

Cappuccino or Coffee:
~~ Just give it to me.

Do you Smoke:
~~ Like a freight train.

Do you Swear:
~~ I love to curse. I’m an advocate of the F-word.

Do you Sing:
~~ Like a rock star!

Do you Shower Daily:
~~ I’ll plead the fifth on this one.

Have you Been in Love:
~~ Scores of times. Love is the easiest, best addiction.

Do you want to go to College:
~~ Come spring, I will be back in school. Whoo hoo.

Do you want to get Married:
~~ Only if he or she is perfect.

Do you believe in yourself:
~~ Sometimes.

Do you get Motion Sickness:
~~ Occasionally.

Do you think you are Attractive:
~~ I think I look odd.

Are you a Health Freak:
~~ Well, here’s the thing. I take a ton of vitamins and drink gallons of water. I’m a vegetarian and I keep my fat intake at under 20 grams a day… but I smoke and drink like it’s going out of style and I hate exercising.

Do you get along with your Parents:
~~ Most of the time.

Do you like Thunderstorms:
~~ They’re a nice change of pace.

Do you play an Instrument:
~~ The piano.

In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:
~~ Have you drank alcohol? Jesus Christ. This is the wealthiest country in the world and our fucking kids write like a gaggle of uneducated urchins.

In the past month have you Smoked:
~~ Often.

In the past month have you been on Drugs:
~~I thought I saw God that one night, then I realized it was the Colonel. Not Colonel Hogan, Colonel Sanders. We laughed together about that.

In the past month have you gone on a Date:
~~ Yes. Thanks for airing me out, Mike.

In the past month have you gone to a Mall:
~~ No, and I count that as a small victory.

In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:
~~ I have a difficult time eating Oreos.

In the past month have you eaten Sushi:
~~ Yes. Thanks for airing me out, Tommie.

In the past month have you been on Stage:
~~ I sang karaoke like a rock star twice this month!

In the past month have you been Dumped:
~~ No, thank Gods. I can’t handle it.

In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:
~~ Too damn cold at night, and I’m not the kind of girl to do such a thing in broad daylight.

In the past month have you Stolen Anything:
~~ I accidentally stole a lighter from work. Oops.

Ever been Drunk:
~~ My friend Good Sam is so cute. She calls it “shithouse drunk.”

Ever been called a Tease:
~~ Among other things. A coquette holds power the normal girl could never understand.

Ever been Beaten up:
~~ The bathrooms at THS are covered in my blood to this day.

Ever Shoplifted:
~~ One of my few weaknesses.

How do you want to Die:
~~ In some spectacular way. I want to spontaneously implode, or die of some rare disease like Scarlet Fever or Rubella.

What do you want to be when you Grow Up:
~~ I want to be your lover, baby… I don’t want to be your boss.

What country would you most like to Visit:
~~ Egypt.

In a Boy/Girl..

Favourite Eye Color:
~~Brown

Favourite Hair Color:
~~ Dark or red.

Short or Long Hair:
~~ Long, if you can pull it off. Some people can’t.

Height:
~~ I tend to attract short guys, but I don’t really care.

Weight:
~~ Not grotesquely overweight or bony. Thin guys are sharp and pointy and no fun to sleep with. I’m a bit of a chubby chaser.

Best Clothing Style:
~~ I’m starting to appreciate those low-riding, tight jeans that hipster guys favour. That’s sort of hot…

Number of Drugs I have taken:
~~ Now the booze don’t work cause the drugs ran out of gas.

Number of CDs I own:
~~ A bunch.

Number of Piercings:
~~ I have my nose pierced and sometimes I spear my earholes with metal rods.

Number of Tattoos:
~~ I have a pair of lizards on my right shoulder blade and a faerie on my back.

Number of things in my Past I Regret:
~~ Not a damn thing.